Love and Desire in the Penny Press

Love and Desire in the Penny Press

By: Elizabeth Burt

It came as no surprise that love, weddings, elopements, and divorces were frequent topics in the penny press. People want to read something that they can relate to on some level, and the emotions associated with love are a fairly universal experience. I found it somewhat amusing, to be honest, that many of the stories Professor Burt was able to find about love and desire in the press were about love gone wrong. This is fitting, considering the overall tone of our analysis and discussion of love and desire last semester.

It has long been established that the images and articles published in the press have a significant impact on how we create gender roles.  Depictions of women in the Penny Press contributed to the idealized image of a woman at the time. Likewise, the depictions of men had an impact on the expectations that women had of them. Many newspapers portrayed women as delicate, demure creatures who were to be courted by men. Although this depiction was derived from societal norms, the penny press reinforced the image. Many men, in turn, used fragments of this gender role to ‘fill in the blanks’ of their idealized image of their beloved. Similarly, women had certain expectations about men that molded their idealized image of the beloved as a strong, chivalrous provider.

Additionally, the alteration of messages sent by the press can cause a shift in relationship norms. I would be interested to see the relationship between the number of divorce articles in the press and the divorce rate. My inclination is to say that as divorce was discussed more openly in the media, it became more common and socially acceptable. Professor Burt explained that as the years went on, the Penny Press began publishing divorce stories far more frequently. This observation falls in line with the idea that press on divorce varies directly with the divorce rate, which saw a nearly linear increase from 1860 to 1930 (See: http://www.thecurseof1920.com/images/image002.jpg). This relationship is fairly intuitive – if divorce is seen and heard of more, it will happen more frequently.  Also, by extension, the converse is true – as divorce happens more frequently, it will appear more frequently in the press.

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Love and Desire: Examples from Ancient Art and Archeology

Dr. Freund’s lecture put a very heavy emphasis on the creation and worship of images. Although the images of which he spoke were primarily religious, I can see the relation to the concepts about love and desire that we explored last semester. The way we construct images for gods and other mythical characters is very similar to the way we create an image of the beloved and in many ways, we also worship the object of desire.

I found it interesting that the Jewish and Catholic traditions call for the complete banishment of false images. Creating a false image of god theoretically creates a barrier between you and your perceived divine being. To create an image of another is to infuse the other with your own desires. It seems as though the banishment of images was enforced so that followers wouldn’t merge the concept of god with their personal desire for what god should do and be for them. This concept sounds somewhat similar to the Buddhist belief that desire is the root of suffering. In the Catholic or Jewish traditions, this ‘suffering’ would be the separation between the individual and god.

Several of the major symbols Dr. Freund outlined were of the avian sort – the swan and the eagle. At the start of this discussion, my mind immediately went to the falcon that appears in the first scene of Celestina and I would be curious to know what the falcon symbolized in ancient art. I am not well versed in Greek mythology, but it seems that in the story of Zeus and Leda, Zeus forces himself upon his victims much like Celestina would enchant her victims. Can this possibly be interpreted as another piece of literature that enforces the concept that there is no escaping desire?

Seeking Love after Divorce: Changes in Dating and Love after a First Marriage

It seemed like Aimee Miller-Ott had not only done extensive research in her field, but was passionate about it as well. I’m curious what led her to the topic of communication after divorce and the reason for her fascination with it.  As a child of divorce, I found much of her research to be relatable. I can distinctly recall watching my parents go through all the stages of establishing comfortable levels of autonomy and reliance that worked for both of them. The overwhelming message I took from the lecture was this: Divorce is the master-balancing act. Not only do you have to monitor communication with all parties involved, but you also have to be concerned about others’ feelings while still reeling from your own heartbreak.

Divorced partners cannot escape desire – it’s just a matter of whether they desire their ex-spouse, a new dating partner, or simply being alone. If there is a mismatch in the foci of desire, then it becomes a problem of feelings being hurt and jealousy. One partner may end up in a place of feeling wronged and abandoned while the other feels guilty or restricted. In this case, desire can be the unraveling of platonic love, as well as romantic love.

It seems intuitive that the desires of one partner can affect the desires of the other. If, for example, one partner desires a new relationship and begins dating shortly after the divorce, their ex spouse may be prompted to move on and desire the same thing for themselves. Conversely, if one co-parent has a strong desire to fix the marriage, the other may feel guilty for desiring a new relationship.

I would be interested to see how many divorced couples end up back together. Is it possible that they’re merely attracted to their perceived image of what being single is like? Perhaps, some marriages fall victim to the deceptive nature of desire. After all, marriage, like love, seems to attempt to contain and control desire. This leaves a very fertile breeding ground for illusions of the splendor of ‘the other side’ or being single. How many, if any, people get out of their marriage and realize that the illusion is nothing like the reality?

“Love and Friendship: The Platonic Sources of Postmodern Politics”

“Love and Friendship: The Platonic Sources of Postmodern Politics”

Catherine Borck, Assistant Professor of Politics and Government, University of Hartford

The relationship that Professor Borck was describing between friend and enemy seemed reminiscent of the relationship that we explored between love and desire last semester. The enemy is the antithesis of a friend just as desire is the antithesis of love. The flip side of this duality, as Schmitt philosophized, is that you cannot know your friends without knowing your enemies, much like you cannot evaluate love independently of desire.

I am not in the least way knowledgeable about philosophy, so I will tread carefully in this arena. It seems like Schmitt heavily relied on the friend enemy antithesis to keep the political structure stable – in the absence of this dichotomy, he believes there would be anarchy. Similarly, we rely on desire as a tool for motivation to move forward on both a personal and societal level. If every desire were fulfilled, what would be the purpose of advancement? Although his philosophy about friendship is rigid and unaccommodating, I can see merit in his logic.

My personal school of thought lies most closely with Plato’s teachings. Although Derrida’s philosophy is attractive to the idealistic portion of my mind, there are far too many uncontrollable human elements to predict the feasibility of an operational society without enmity. I think in some ways, Derrida overestimates the kindly nature of humans. Schmitt, on the other hand, seems to underestimate the natural, overwhelming draw to others. The friend enemy antithesis does not leave very much space for the emotional being to flourish. This is another point that the two converge on – the biggest barrier to their philosophies naturally taking hold is the unpredictability of the human element. Plato’s point of view, to me, is more logical and intuitive than Derrida or Schmitt.

Last semester, we spoke of the self being defined by what it is lacking, rather than what it is possessing. This sense of lacking is also a contributing factor in friendship. If there is a deficiency, the desire to erase it will cause individuals to seek out friends who have the thing that they are deficient in. In this way, we let human nature take the wheel in choosing friends and relational partners.

Before Sunrise

I think everyone would secretly love meeting a stranger on a train and telling them the entirety of their life story. Its kind of a romantic concept – a relationship on short notice – but entirely impractical. They jumped in head first with their self-disclosure, which cultivated what I perceived as a false sense of comfort and intimacy.

Jesse and Celine are both extremely whimsical people, but it seems as though they’re both stuck in their memories. Jesse acknowledged this tendency to dwell on the past when he said, “I’ve heard all of my stories. I’m sick of myself.” For him, especially, it seemed like a new person was his excuse to relive the past and retell his stories.

The beauty of a pick up romance is that they can completely construct their image of the beloved to suit their own desires. They were able go create their own ideas of where the other has been and where they are going. With a twenty-four hour romance like this, there are no preconceived notions or judgment – just validation.

This film was focused on learning another person through conversation, but it took a very different approach than most. In Annie Hall, we didn’t learn the truth about the characters’ personalities until we watched them fight. In the scenes from early in their relationship, we see them trying to squeeze themselves into gender roles and make intelligent comments and observations. It wasn’t until their fight and therapist scenes that we get a better idea of who they truly are. Before Sunrise, on the other hand, shows the early stages of the relationship with shudders on. It’s almost as if we see their relationship how they see it – completely blinded by their infatuation and oblivious to logic. The film portrays them as strangers who come to know each other intimately in twenty-four hours, but how well can you know someone after a single day with them? In a day, you only have time to learn the image of the other person that they put forth, not the little crevices of their personality – the way they quiver when they’re angry or how they always leave the empty milk carton in the fridge. It generally isn’t until later in the relationship that true colors begin to shine through. Jesse and Celine are simply affected by the illusion that they know each other intimately, which contributes to their attraction and desire for one another.

I wish they had been able to stay together, but if they had, the film would have been exactly like every other chick flick known to man. I think it was better that they parted ways – the image of the beloved was unshattered and perfectly preserved. I think both will hold onto the image of their ideal beloved and for this reason, they will see each other again. 

Annie Hall

I wish all romantic comedies were like this, and maybe society would have a more realistic idea of what a relationship is. I appreciated how honest and raw the film was about the couple arguing, having second thoughts about each other, and having problems in the bedroom.

Alvy is constantly repeating the quote, “I would never want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.” This plays on the idea that you want what you can’t have, and what you can have, you don’t want. This theme carries through to their sex life as well. At the beginning of their relationship, when Annie is more interested in sex, Alvy is not. When the tables turn and Annie is disinterested, their dead bedroom becomes Alvy’s main focus.

In a scene from his childhood, a teacher is shaming Alvy for kissing the girl next to him. She then went around the classroom asking about where each of the other students ended up as an adult. The students who didn’t act on their desires were incredibly successful. It seems like the screenwriter is trying to imply that success comes from controlling desire and impulse. This concept is extended in Alvy and Annie’s careers. Although their relationship appeared to jumpstart both of their careers, it wasn’t until they’d broken up or were becoming distant that either saw success in their line of work.

What I found most unusual about this film was the sequence of events. A typical romantic comedy would start with the meet cute, the relationship would escalate to a conflict, then, of course, the conflict would be resolved and the couple lives happily ever after. Annie Hall, however, started with the couple arguing and the meet cute didn’t come until later. The audience sees the cringe-worthy moments of their relationship before the ‘cute stuff’.  It gives an aura of imperfection to both of the characters and their relationship. Annie is not the ‘end all be all’ for Alvy and vice versa. They strongly desire one another at various points in the film, but we’re never under the illusion that they are perfect, or that they will be together forever.

This film did a great job at fairly accurately conveying what it’s like to go through the ups and downs of an interpersonal relationship. As they learned more about each other, Annie began to appear in memories that never involved her. I thought this was a brilliant way to convey what it’s like to learn a new person and almost infiltrate their life, even the pieces in which you are not involved. It was easy to see that for Alvy especially, this relationship had permeated his entire life, from childhood up to current day.

Kissing Jessica Stein, Tales of Love, and Looking for Someone

Kissing Jessica Stein

This movie fell flat for me – it felt like the film merely skimmed the surface of Helen and Jennifer’s relationship and the male love interest with Josh was predictable. Jessica was constantly running a comparison between him and Helen. At the beginning of her relationship with Helen, Jennifer was noticing the similarities between the two, but by the end she was struggling to find differences.  It was the Rilke quote that initially drew her to Helen, yet it was Josh’s Anais Nin quote that pushed her to take the leap of faith. Throughout the movie, this unseen balance between Josh and Helen often indicates a shift in Jennifer’s perception as well as the focus of her desire.

As I mentioned earlier, Josh quotes Nin, saying, “We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” The only way we can know the other is through our own unique perception. We do not know the other as they are, but rather as a projection of their image onto ourselves.

On an unrelated side note, I found it interesting that Jessica was affected by Helen’s use of the word marinate as a verb outside of the culinary arena. There are an endless number of quirky verbs you could adapt to use in conventional conversation, but the screenwriter chose a word strongly associated with cooking. He might be playing on the traditional patriarchal norm of the kitchen being the woman’s domain. It is particularly ironic that it was spoken between women who do not conform to sexual gender roles.

Tales of Love

By: Julia Kristeva

I love the density this piece; I feel as though I could read it any number of times and still acquire a new bit of knowledge each time. I thought Kristeva’s quote from the first page was especially applicable to our discussion last class. She states, “The feeling during love, of having had to expend if not give up desire and aspirations, isn’t this in fact the price we must pay for the violence of our passions about the other?” Desire is responsible for both the creation and destruction of love and love is an attempt to control the uncontrollable – desire. This is the inverse nature of their relationship.

Kristeva’s discussion about society veiling desire in shame made me think of Ernaux’s brazen honesty in the description of her own desire. Ernaux was able to put words to her experience with desire, but for most, as Kristeva points out, “love would, in any case, be solitary because incommunicable.” (Pg. 3) It seems tragic that the most common human emotional experience is something we can barely find the words to share with one another. Moreover, the thought that their experience with desire is unique is often what incites people to alienate themselves in the first place.

Looking for Someone

By: Nick Paumgarten

Internet dating has found a way to bridge the gap between the image of the beloved and the beloved. Dating websites are based on complex algorithms that are used to pair people. These algorithms help people to first construct the image of their beloved before searching for them.

Statistically, Internet relationships are drastically shorter than their traditional counterparts, which seems somewhat counterintuitive to me. Online, the individual has more time to solidify their image of the beloved before actually meeting. The longer there is an illusion, the harder it is to shatter, which I thought would be reflected in the duration of the relationship. Alternatively, is it possible that online relationships should last longer simply because the pair is more carefully matched?