Kissing Jessica Stein
This movie fell flat for me – it felt like the film merely
skimmed the surface of Helen and Jennifer’s relationship and the male love
interest with Josh was predictable. Jessica was constantly running a comparison
between him and Helen. At the beginning of her relationship with Helen,
Jennifer was noticing the similarities between the two, but by the end she was
struggling to find differences. It was
the Rilke quote that initially drew her to Helen, yet it was Josh’s Anais Nin
quote that pushed her to take the leap of faith. Throughout the movie, this
unseen balance between Josh and Helen often indicates a shift in Jennifer’s perception
as well as the focus of her desire.
As I mentioned earlier, Josh quotes Nin, saying, “We don’t
see things as they are. We see things as we are.” The only way we can know the
other is through our own unique perception. We do not know the other as they
are, but rather as a projection of their image onto ourselves.
On an unrelated side note, I found it interesting that Jessica
was affected by Helen’s use of the word marinate as a verb outside of the
culinary arena. There are an endless number of quirky verbs you could adapt to
use in conventional conversation, but the screenwriter chose a word strongly
associated with cooking. He might be playing on the traditional patriarchal
norm of the kitchen being the woman’s domain. It is particularly ironic that it
was spoken between women who do not conform to sexual gender roles.
Tales of Love
By: Julia Kristeva
I love the density this piece; I feel as though I could read
it any number of times and still acquire a new bit of knowledge each time. I
thought Kristeva’s quote from the first page was especially applicable to our
discussion last class. She states, “The feeling during love, of having had to
expend if not give up desire and aspirations, isn’t this in fact the price we
must pay for the violence of our passions about the other?” Desire is
responsible for both the creation and destruction of love and love is an
attempt to control the uncontrollable – desire. This is the inverse nature of
their relationship.
Kristeva’s discussion about society veiling desire in shame
made me think of Ernaux’s brazen honesty in the description of her own desire.
Ernaux was able to put words to her experience with desire, but for most, as
Kristeva points out, “love would, in any case, be solitary because
incommunicable.” (Pg. 3) It seems tragic that the most common human emotional
experience is something we can barely find the words to share with one another.
Moreover, the thought that their experience with desire is unique is often what
incites people to alienate themselves in the first place.
Looking for Someone
By: Nick Paumgarten
Internet dating has found a way to bridge the gap between
the image of the beloved and the
beloved. Dating websites are based on complex algorithms that are used to pair
people. These algorithms help people to first construct the image of their
beloved before searching for them.
Statistically, Internet relationships are drastically
shorter than their traditional counterparts, which seems somewhat
counterintuitive to me. Online, the individual has more time to solidify their
image of the beloved before actually meeting. The longer there is an illusion,
the harder it is to shatter, which I thought would be reflected in the duration
of the relationship. Alternatively, is it possible that online relationships should last longer simply because the
pair is more carefully matched?
